It’s not about the Benjamin’s…It’s all about patriarchy, baby.

Why should I care if two consenting adults wish to commit for the rest of their lives? If it’s a man and woman, most don’t but when the two that wish to commit are of the same gender, all hell breaks loose. What is the big deal?

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! This debate is not about humanity; it is a “fight” and I could not help but notice the rank misogyny inherent in discussing the debate in terms of battles and wars – it’s a man thing. When invoking terms such as “battle” or “war”, I think about power and control, hegemony, manifest destiny, ownership (eh, slavery, even?), opportunities and rights. While I do believe in spiritual attacks and warfare in a religious sense, I cannot see how an expression of pure, true love between individuals is something evil forces want people to express. The manifestation of true love is the very antithesis of evil.

The “gay agenda” which must be “stopped” is nothing more than fear of losing this war; I contend that the war is that of patriarchy and privilege and ideologies largely drawn on racial lines.

There are few compelling arguments, which discuss the negative ramifications for allowing gay folks to marry. What is often spoken of is the demoralization of marriage that would occur if gay folks married. This is sad, given that the divorce rate in the US is around of 50%. Regardless of gender, marriage and commitment allows couples to care for one another without going through red tape. If one falls ill, the other will be able to make decisions about the life of their loved one. Marriage also allows for financial benefits to partners, which the present privileged class is seeking to maintain control.

Another argument used against gay marriage is the one that asserts traditional marriage has always been between one man and one woman and that it has always been a part of society in this form. Yet, the definition has changed throughout time, ranging from a commitment between a man and woman to a man and several women. Marriage often served the purpose only to further a family lineage, to increase wealth and property. Love as the center of marriage was not a necessity. This is why the Apostle Paul encouraging, “…husbands love your wives…” was such a radical approach to marriage in his day. Paul promoted an evolution in the thinking of marriage.

Since love cannot be confined to a man and woman, why is contemporary marriage – simply put, commitment between two consenting adults under the ethic of love and fidelity – confined to biological functions? Denying a group the right to marriage denies their humanity; asserts that gay folks lack spirit and soul.

Religious folks often point to the fact that it is the law that bars gays from marriage to each other. The “law” argues that it is not morally correct based on Judeo-Christian morals. Therefore, a cyclical affect forever places the blame. I turn to the story in the Old Testament about the Daughters of Zelophehad (Numbers 26; 27; 36).

Concisely, Zelophehad had five daughters. During that day, inheritance was conferred to the son or closest male relative. Zelophehad died and his five daughters went before Moses, who served as judge of Israel at the time, and made a case as to why they should receive the inheritance although they were not males. Moses took the case up before God and God told Moses that the women spoke that which was correct – that they should receive the inheritance although until that time; women were barred from such things. They were able to “amend” the law that was seemingly anti-feminist and patriarchal. Permitting gay folks to marry likewise challenges notions of patriarchy within religion and in society.

Discussions of racial aspects of gay marriage are similarly perplexing. While there are people on both sides of the arguments from all races, ethnicities and religions, within religious communities, to me it seems those that are most adamantly against it are usually Black.

Black preachers have made their stance known. One member of clergy from Chicago vowed to stand with the KKK if they stood against gay marriage. Approximately two-dozen black pastors signed a petition to ban gay marriages in Atlanta and in Detroit black preachers did the same. One member of black clergy has asserted that this issue, if any issue, should be the one that lights a fire under the parishioners – getting them out of the pew and busy doing work.

It is sad that one of the most homo-tolerant, yet homophobic social locations in the Black community is so outspoken in this regard. Interestingly, we never imagine the gay person in church as a woman – it is always the male. We have allowed preachers to degrade our brothers, our sons, uncles, fathers and friends. Yet they continue to come to church and give of their talents and time because of an unending love for Christ and a church that hates them so much. While there are sparse references to bulldaggers, referring to lesbianism in the church, there are many more references to male homosexuality.

With the dawning of the black power movement, post-MLK, patriarchal thinking was on the rise, which necessitated the degradation of the black woman. The ethic of love was no longer at the center of the movement for equality. Women that were apart of the struggle for equal rights were silenced. Along with the silencing of women came the harsh treatment of the LGBT community, but particularly the men. There was an overall feminization of gay black men, which displayed a disdain for womanhood at the core. Because these black men left their “natural function” and allowed themselves to be handled like women, they were less than men, and deserved less than humanity.

The struggle for gay rights, inclusive of the marriage debate has revived the patriarchal arguments against gays. Black preachers have been unrelenting of late with sermon series dedicated to preaching against the LGBT community. And don’t let gay folks compare their struggle to the Civil Rights movement causing the utter disgust among blacks. As if we are the only oppressed people. As if there are no parallels that can be drawn between the oppression of Blacks, of women and of the LGBT community.

If we would do the math, it would be relatively easy to draw parallels. When in school, math teachers always told me to “show my work” as opposed to just writing the answer. This is because when you show the work, it is much easier to locate the step where you made a mistake. As well, when you know the process of obtaining the answer, doing other similar problems, which may vary on degree of difficulty, will be easier.

Many of us refuse to “do the math” in this instance. We “know” (without research, of course) that being gay is sin; we know it is not natural and we know it is pathological. Interestingly, these same reasons have been cited to oppress blacks and other ethnic minorities, folks from other religious traditions and women. Yet, instead of taking a legalistic approach to scripture with regard to slavery and even (although slowly) women’s roles in ministry, the Black church has found an approach that is liberating yet reflective of biblical scholarship. With time, I believe the same could happen with issues of sexuality.

Many loathe the comparison of gay rights to the Civil Rights struggle because, “when I walk down the street, you know I’m Black, but you don’t know if a gay person is gay.” Apparently, Blacks don’t choose to be Black but gays choose their orientation. This argument is fundamentally flawed. Race is a social construct, much like gender roles and even sexuality. While everyone is born with pigmentation (a certain level of melanin or lack thereof) affecting skin color, no one is born the social construct of “black”. Rather, we assume this construction. Theresa Perry argues in Young, Gifted and Black that whiteness was created in opposition to blackness. This social construction of “race” is so well ingrained in our mentality that we cannot realize it does not exist.

I believe everyone is born with sexuality as well but to pigeonhole sexuality for all humanity into an immutable, unchangeable expression (male with female) and assert that anyone that does not express sexuality in that form is deviant is wrong-minded. Rather, we should value the human spirit in each of us. This spirit does not limit us to a biological, physical expression of love. Just as love can be realized between Black and White folks, love can be realized between two males or two females. If allowed to marry, gay folks will represent another oppressed group that stands up to oppressive behavior debunking inferiority and inhumanity myths. Patriarchal rule and hegemony will lose yet another foothold in society.

From the Message Bible:
1 Corinthians 1:27-28

Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these "nobodies" to expose the hollow pretensions of the "somebodies"?

Let’s stop being hollow and let us learn to love the culturally “deviant”, the “nobodies” and do the work of Christ.