My personal statement for Divinity School

here's my personal statement - in revised fashion...for divinity school...what say you?

For months, I have known that I wanted to study theology but there has been one obstacle of sorts – the “shoulds”. Should I discuss my upbringing in the Pentecostal church tradition? Should I discuss issues of feminism or homophobia in religion? Should I talk about politics or world peace? Should I talk about God?

Each time I began writing, I felt the statement was lacking in some manner – intellectually, emotionally or personally. Because limited space, no one statement could say everything about my thoughts; about my academic failures in the study of engineering or the successes of environmental and urban studies for undergraduate years; about the anguish I experience when I begin to ponder new theological concepts. These various methods of framing the statement could present a substantive story of who I am and how I think and each has merit.

However, placing the personal statement within a framework, in my opinion is writing from a location of safety. It would allow me to write from a knowledge base that I already have, from theories I have already accepted as truth. And, I like my theology like I like my personal statements – full of safety While there is a desire to remain in the safety of tradition of my past so as not to cause controversy, there is an inner urge pushing me towards the unknown.

What I have come to accept is that there can be no security in true theological exploration – that the ground will shake. Lacking challenge one can only be limited in growth and development within theology. As Paul Tillich postulates, with faith comes doubt – that the two are inseparable and doubt can drive one to further exploration and greater, deeper faith.

Because of this idea, I am finally able to write this statement.I am able to remove the frameworks of safety and am willing to move past the theology of Pentecostal tradition.I understand that theology cannot be static but rather, must be dynamic and contextual. As well, I see the necessity of the Christian community to become engaged in the world in which we live.In the world, many issues cause instability and unrest and yet there is a compelling to go into the world and preach the gospel.

How does one conceptualize the “world?” Is the world a static entity that is never changing or is it constantly growing and maturing? Is the world of North America the same as the world for countries in Africa? Is the world of the 4th Century the same as the world of the 21st century? I believe the world in which we live must be understood contextually and therefore the preached gospel must be relevant. This is where I believe I fit in.I believe that I live in a certain context of time – that is, the 21st Century; and place – that is, urban America from the social location of black Pentecostal maleness. This context affects how I look at the world, how I theologize and how I postulate God.

Coming from orthodox Pentecostalism to view liberalism, feminism and womanism as legitimate is not a short journey by any stretch of the imagination. I grew up in the Church of God in Christ – a sect of Pentecostalism that does not ordain women as elders or pastors (officially), conceptualizes God as Father, Son and Holy Ghost, does not believe in diverse expressions of sexuality and asserts Rapturist theology. It is within these areas that I once espoused that I am now extremely critical and highly doubtful of.

I see the inherent sexism in barring women from certain positions in Christian traditions, the concept of the trinity as Father, Son and Holy Ghost and in the belief that “divergent” sexuality is not godly. Much of the discourse on these topics lacks the ethic of love and compassion that Jesus embodied. I see how damaging “Rapture theology” is to the church’s mission to preach the gospel to the world. Damaging because it makes Christians far too “other-worldly” and not concerned enough with the world in which God came into the world as Christ. This same Christ sent his followers into the world to engage the world more fully – to be compassionate and loving in order to help the “least of these.” Rapturist theology is also damaging to the environment because it teaches that Christians do not need to care for this earth because a new one is on the horizon, one just for Christians and God to enjoy.

My undergraduate work allowed me to view disparities that exist because of class, race, and gender. While topically not religious, these courses nevertheless affected how I viewed the patriarchal, oppressive god of my upbringing – a god I now challenge. I have conducted research projects (e.g. Urban Greening; Ethnocentric Education) that have given me a love for writing; a zeal for research and I will apply and hone these skills within the study of religion. Vocationally, I seek to work in a pastoral role, which the MDiv degree will be highly efficient. However, I do not wish to end studies there as I wish to pursue a PhD in a religion and become a professor in the academy.

Studying at HDS would pose the opportunity to engage both academically and spiritually a rigorous pursuit of knowledge and truth. Yet, this makes me both nervous because there is much that I do not know and excited because those things that I do not know, I will have the ability to survey in depth. While the prospect of studying under world-renown faculty is great, I am equally excited about studying with peers that are passionate about ministry, theology and religion – the future scholars that will undoubtedly theologically shape minds in the future.

I make no claims to intelligence. Rather, I only make the claim to understanding my vocation – using Christian ministry as a means to address societal ills in a thoughtful, compassionate and justice-seeking way. For me, theological studies will no doubt cause more doubt and anguish but will also reveal an even deeper and more profound relationship and understanding of God.