The Narcissism of the Schiavo Case

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The Narcissism of the Schiavo Case

There is a philosophical thought that postulates that the most selfless people are the most selfish people. That the things that you do out of selfless love is something really done for personal satisfaction; to assert "look at how giving I am; I'm such a caring individual." I cannot help but look at the story of Terri Schiavo in that vein. Despite the difficulties that the parents and husband have gone through, one thing is clear - Terri Schiavo is no longer with us.

Philosophically, medically and emotionally there are differences of opinion as to when she exactly left us. Some believe it was March 31, 2005. Others believe it was 15 years ago when she first became brain dead. The Life and Death of Terri Schiavo highlight the human discomfort with life and death. We do not understand the existential nature of life or the transcendence of life into death. We certainly try to avoid the uncomfortable emotions of grief and sorrow when death happen upon our families as long as possible. It is understandable. It is human nature to shun those things that we do not understand, death included...

So why do I think this case is narcissism, or more correctly egoism, magnified? Webster defines egoism as excessive concern for oneself with or without exaggerated feelings of self-importance. It is my contention that the Schindlers were more concerned about their appearance as parents than they were about Terri's life. One may or may not believe that Michael Schiavo was the cause of Terri's eating disorder and I have no light to shed in that way. But regardless of whom is to "blame" (i.e., whether she had issues with body image and an eating disorder before meeting Michael or if this was a result of verbal abuse from Michael), the parents certainly must feel a certain sense of despair that this happened to their daughter. "Certainly, there is something we could have done to prevent this travesty," could be the thinking here.

If Terri had negative self-esteem pre-Schiavo, then certainly the mental and emotional stress on the parents must be great because it is the eating disorder that caused the potassium imbalance that led to the brain-dead state, which Terri maintained until her death. If the negative self-esteem and body image is a result of Schiavo, the parents still must feel some inkling of responsibility for allowing their daughter to wed someone so seemingly heinous. Whatever the case may be, the parents are looking to soothe guilt from their minds and emotions, whether consciously or not.

It is not helpful that Michael Schiavo, on behalf of his wife, won a medical malpractice case in 1992 wherein he was awarded upwards of $1MM. Yet, I find it interesting that less than a year later, the parents filed for guardianship rights of Terri. Coincidence? Maybe.

What good could come out of caring for Terri indefinitely?

Theoretically, she could have revived at any time given a miracle. This is not difficult to envision given the huge religious undertones and verbiage used to describe the events. There was a lot of prayer. There were lots of songs sung outside the hospice. There was a lot of hope. This seemed to call the faithful to arms.

Miracles happen and we are happy. But when they don’t, do we question why God did not come to the rescue? Where are the faithful now? Do the faithful still have hope now that Terri is gone? Sometimes, I believe we request things that are possible but not plausible. The Jim Crow Era was a difficult time in our nation for black folks. Certainly, some black folks wished they could wake up and be white. This is something that is possible for God to do – yet it is not plausible. I look at the brain-dead nature of Schiavo in the same way. It certainly is possible that God could have reconnected the brain stems and caused them to live again. But is it plausible?

Given that I do not believe it would have been plausible for Terri to “live again” as she once had, her parents would have had to care for her for an undefined amount of time, spending a great deal of monetary, physical and emotional resources. While this may seem commendable from a “what you do to the least of these” standpoint, it seems only to underscore the seeming discomfort the parents had with themselves.

Caring for Terri would have given the parents an opportunity to do for Terri what seemed to be lacking – love her unconditionally. I cannot question whether Michael truly loved her (I do believe he fought for her because he loved her) but regardless of his affection for her, she felt it necessary to change herself in a harmful manner in order to be more pleasing to others. The parents now had the opportunity to love Terri in spite of the frailties that she had. But this is a double-edged sword because the parents, while being selfless, would become filled with pride of the work they would do for their daughter.

What good could come out of letting Terri go?

First, the grieving process can begin. Holding on prolonged the process with little hope of any tangible change. Had Terri been allowed to die sooner, it is a large possibility that the relationship between the Schiavos and the Schindlers would not be as strained as they are. In affirming life, we must always be cognizant of relationships with others. Holding on to Terri proved to be detrimental to the once happy group.

It is interesting that the Schindlers are deeply religious. I agree with Bill Maher that stated on his show that the deeply religious often seem the most apprehensive to “meet their maker.” Allowing Terri to move on from this life gracefully without fanfare would have been a true testament to their Christian ideology of being “absent from the body” being tantamount to being “present with the Lord.” Holding on to Terri in such an adverse form of living seems almost selfish; not allowing her the “religious freedom” to dwell with God eternally, which is their belief about life after death.

Residual effects…

“The essence of civilization is that the strong have a duty to protect the weak,” is a quote from the non-elected President George W Bush. Interestingly idea from the leader of a capitalist nation that brings democracy to other nations by force and death. Interesting because this country has weak folks that are impoverished, lack access to healthcare and adequate education. Interesting that a white woman is personified as “weak” and in need of protection. Why are our children in urban neighborhoods considered “weak” and in need of protection? Why are the poor folks across the nation, the homeless, the AIDS infested; considered in need of protection?

Because this was a political battle. Terri Schiavo has become a public spectacle. Instead of her parents and husband being able to cherish her last moments, they can only reflect on flash and glitz – famous folks and spectators. This was a media bazaar selling the stories of those in favor of “life”. Seemingly, everyone against keeping her alive is pro-death. Public opinion showed a large majority favoring Terri be peaceably allowed to die instead of kept on a feeding tube but the media would not portray that story.

Where to from here?

I hope that the family can come together again…a possibility although I do not think this is plausible either. We can try to understand life and death more but at the end of the day, it will not matter if we are in a similar situation.

Life is precious and I believe that we should cherish every breath. However, merely breathing does not constitute life. Life is inclusive of moving, thinking, acting and reacting…Unfortunately, these were not possibilities for Terri Schiavo.